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*~*stars will cry the blackest tears tonight [entries|friends|calendar]
I'm a grown man who's made a lot of mistakes

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MMMMMMMMmmmmm [29 Dec 2006|02:49am]
Even though I feel indifferent about our situation because I'm being dumb, you still put a smile on my face when I think of you. I wish there were more hours in the day so that we could spend them together. Mmmmmm, I like you.......

So, I'm just venting. Because C-money can't be here for me to cuddle with. I miss him.....

I'm not Okay [21 Sep 2006|06:29pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

This summer has been a whirlwind of emotions and events. I never would have thought that I would lose my best friend at the end. And, he's not talking to me and that hurts the most. I wish he could just be straight with me. So, I'm going to be straight on how I feel about him. So here it is, my heart and feelings, PLEASE HANDLE WITH CARE.
I love him. I miss him. I don't want him to not talk to me. I wish he loved me again, the way he said he used to.
I knew it was going to hit me someday and that someday has come. It's so odd to think that you know someone or yourself so well and for it to all blow up in your face is kind of embrassing.

And here I am, pathetic me, on my knees screaming to a brick wall just for him to even talk to me. Or even LOOK at me. I am truly heartbroken. I guess I have to take one day at a time. But it hurts so bad.  You never realize what you've got until it's gone. 

I know you're sad even though you say that you're not
I know you're scared even though you say that you're not
I won't get mad when you say things are getting too hard
I won't make all of your love so scared to come through our yard
I won't scream in my head and let it isolate me
I won't be left dancing alone to songs from the past

1 thought Comment

[26 Oct 2005|09:49pm]
[ mood | sad ]

i'm as scared as i think i've ever been in my whole life.

i'm not ready to leave or lose all my hair. i hope it's not what it is. i wish, i wish i could ignore it like it never happens, like i have for so long. i'm so scared. this is the last thing i ever thought would happen to me.

9 thoughts Comment

time to say it, goodbye [25 Oct 2005|09:36pm]
[ mood | confused ]

it seems as though i have reached a crossroads in my life. i honestly have no idea what i want to do with it and it's kind of depressing. everything is so much harder than i thought it was going to be.

you know, i don't expect anyone to understand the way i feel about things or think about things, i don't expect it from anyone. none of you know how stressed i am with everything, none of you know anything about any feeling i have. or understand for that matter. i'm not angry, i'm passed that. i just don't care so stop dragging me into things. actually, i'm sort of glad people stopped calling me because i was kind or getting sick of rejecting you. and i can just worry about priorities. so to all of my old friends have a great life and i hope you all succeed in whatever you do.

2 thoughts Comment

[24 Oct 2005|08:18pm]
[ mood | cold ]

awesome how i don't get or deserve a phone call because i don't spend a million dollars driving up to fucking central every weekend. and carrie, I'VE NEVER RECEIVED A PHONE CALL FROM YOU, EVER. So don't tell me that you don't understand me because you don't know me in the first place. The only person tht seems to want to keep any friendship with me is Liz. So whatever. i'm over it already. so don't even try.

2 thoughts Comment

[22 Oct 2005|11:44pm]
blah blah blah , im so sick of all this crap.

too bad college turned us all away from each other, well me at least.

2 thoughts Comment

[20 Oct 2005|08:42pm]
[ mood | sick ]

i'm so sick....chicken in the back of the fridge was a bad idea......

so, i had my first bio lab exam today, wasn't soo bad. i didn't walk in and throw up all over. but i think i might throw up now. i hope im not food poisoned.

1 thought Comment

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